Whether it is the result of a personality or cultural clash, harassment is unacceptable; and a company that wishes to avoid litigation must make an effort to stop the problem. This woman needs to go back to HR and request that they hold a training session that deals with the problem of defining harassment:

Case: Male coworkers sometimes leave rather  explicit pictures (sometimes with phone numbers on them) on the desk of an attractive female who maintains that she does nothing to attract attention to herself.  Her supervisor and HR say they cannot do anything about it since they do not know who is leaving the pictures.  Some coworkers apparently consider it her fault; others say that she “just can’t take a joke.” What can she do?

Those who harass need to understand that what constitutes harassment is defined by the recipients; and both the harassers and the recipients need to understand that everyone’s work world is larger than anyone’s private world, thus requiring that all workers adjust to some degree, just as we do in our homes, our churches, schools, etc. However, when harassment is directed toward a particular individual, as in this case, the only one who needs to change is the harasser, who needs to cease his activity.

Regardless of whether the perpetrator thinks it’s fun or that the female “asks for it,” this behavior is totally unacceptable.  We suggest confronting the entire office (do we know that the guilty one is a male?) in a low-key manner, straightforward, non-whining manner. Explain in one or two sentences that, while it’s no doubt funny to someone, it really does upset you and that you are pleading with them to stop.  In other words, put them on notice that YOU are defining this behavior as harassment.

Depending on your personality, you could ask a few females and males to tell you any behaviors that you should perhaps change.  That feedback would be good information for future reference, allowing you to correct an innocent habit that less astute persons might misinterpret again. Don’t ask, though, if you are the type who gets defensive when told the truth.

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